Saying Goodbye

I´ve never liked goodbyes, I usually don´t know what to say and thus feel awkward. Saying bye to people you know you will see soon is no big deal, but it´s when you say goodbye to people you probably will never see again, that it gets weird. Sometimes I would prefer to just not say goodbye, to avoid the sadness and inevitable end.

This week has been full of despedidas (goodbyes), and I know my friends have been experiencing the same thing. It can be overwhelming when every other hour you are the center of attention and receiving all these cards, hugs, questions, etc. As overwhelming as it can me, I love it though, I can´t say I do not appreciate it all.

I will miss the faces of the high school teachers as I pass them in the hall way, they always give me these tired, ¨what can you do¨type of faces, they obviously are counting down the hours until the bell rings, everyday. The teachers are out of here as fast as the students are. It makes me think back to The Simpsons, how the teachers were shown as miserable and tired. In a positive light, it´s funny. The teachers here are tired and deal with a lot, but they still do it, because they like to teach and ultimately care about the future of the students. Most of them.

Today is my last day at the high school Sierra Minera, I´m on my hour break. I just had three consecutive goodbye parties, and managed to get my Thailand presentation in there as well. The students really enjoyed it, they got to see something different. They have had so many presentations about the U.S.A. and are bombarded with it through films, news, etc. So I think it was good to show them a different side of the world, and all of them knew where Thailand was! A lot of people in the U.S. think that when I say I´m Thai, that I am friend Taiwan. Ignorance at its best. We ate food and talked. They classes each made me these huge cards and they all signed it. I took videos of the oldest students saying what they liked about this year.

My Spanish teacher cried.

I thought that after she started to cry in class that I would start to cry in class! But I didn´t. She has been the best mentor this year, and her family is amazing. Every Friday (including today) I go to eat lunch with them and then give an hour lesson to each of her two fantastic kids. I will definitely go back to visit them. I have to, they have been so kind to me. I hope that in some impossible way I can go visit my 3ª group of students in Germany this December. They will have an exchange with German students! They speak in English with each other, and the Germans already came this past April to our school. That would be amazing.

I had to buy a small suitcase, it´s super Euro. All of the people use them as carry on luggage to fit in as much as possible without paying Check-In fees at the airport. I still have a lot of packing, cleaning, throwing away, to do tonight. Tomorrow I go to my last paella lunch at Cafe Mitico and then I´m off to Madrid! Then off to Italy! It will all go by so fast!

Stay tuned for my Spain video :)

Less than a month left in Cartagena

I skyped my parents for 2 hours last night, much needed. I would say I am ready to go home in a little over a month. My time here in Spain is done. After living here for a semester in Madrid and then 9 months in the south, made me realize maybe this country isn´t for me. I guess I could try the north, but I already know I couldn´t stand the rain. 5 years in Humboldt County taught me that. I think one of the good ways to judge if you fit well into a country is how your body physically reacts to it. My body for example, I feel has gone downhill. My skin is always dry, my sinuses are always irritated, I´ve had tummy problems so many times, and so on. When I lived in Ecuador I was so healthy! Well besides the stomach virus but that was cured with medicine within a week. In Morocco I could feel my body functioning better too. Also, as much as I like Spanish food, there is little diversity here. I need diverse food choices, and good food choices. Thai, Mexican, Chinese, Ethiopian, Indian, Korean, as well as diverse people. I guess in Madrid it´s more diverse, but still doesn´t measure up to the Bay Area.

My plan is to travel to as many countries as possible and see if I truly fit well into any of them. That´s the best way to figure out where you should live I think. And if there´s no other place where I really feel at home. there´s always the Bay.

We got back from Ibiza on Sunday night, after 6 days of beaches, parties, excursions, cars, boats, and fun people. It  wasn´t high season though, so I can only imagine how it is in the summer. Most of the people there seemed younger, 19 or 20 years old. It was really fun don´t get me wrong, but I think I´m too old for that stuff/have already had my years of partying. Who know´s though, maybe I´ll go back for a real summer experience.

I have less than a month in Cartagena, then I go to Madrid to drop my stuff of, then head to Italy for a week. I was thinking of making another trip this month for a weekend, but I don´t want to spend the money and also, there´s a lot of things I want to do here that I haven´t done yet. I want to hike Roldan, spend a day at Cabo de Palos and the market, take the ferry from La Manga to the other side of the bay, try a few new tapas places, go to Jumilla for a wine tour, and just enjoy this region. The time will go by fast, it already has. Man, can´t believe it´s almost over.

But can´t wait to see my bros and go to Fentons!!!

Public vs. Private Schools

I wanted to write a small post about some of the people I've met here in Cartagena, Spain, and other travels. I had one of my private conversation classes today, with a girl who is 12 years old. Although she is only 12, I have always seen her as older because she can carry on interesting, intellectual conversations.  Her English is excellent for her age. I find that most of the people I give classes too (besides the toddlers) are people that share common interests with me, as well as common perspectives.

For example, today with the 12 year old, we came to the subject of private and public schools. All of my private toddler classes go to private elementary schools. When I asked one of the mothers about this, she said it was because private schools are safer and don't have so many kids from outside like Latin America…I didn't know what to say. And this is the mother of the two little boys that I adore. She loves Thai food and asian food though, and is always interested in my travels, so I always thought she was open and free minded. But when I heard that it got me thinking. And it made me sad.

I told my student that I had always gone to public schools, she responded by saying she prefers public schools. I asked her why. Her first reason was that it was so she could meet people from other countries (and therefore backgrounds, religions, beliefs, etc.) She said she liked meeting new, interesting, and different people. I would have never thought of a reason like that at her age! I was impressed and so happy to hear that! I told her about the other family with kids in private schools. She shook her head and said that it doesn't' matter where we're from but that we are all just people. She blew my  mind. I don't know if she gets it from her parents (of course a little bit because they are the ones that decided on public schools, they definitely could have afforded private), or if she is developing it on her own. Although, when I told her mom I loved Morocco, she gave me a "meh" face and said that it never called her attention, and had no intention of going there.

Anyway, it was a nice change from the majority of families I see here that are religious, traditional, and haven't ever thought of traveling outside of Europe. My 12 year old student and I talk about all the places we want to go, all the time!

Another person I have a good connection with is the class right before that with a man in his late 40's or early 50's, a father-like figure. He has traveled a lot, and has lots of stories to tell. We too share similar perspectives on life, politics, and travel. Half the things we talk about are travel. He is planning a trip to Thailand in the next year, I have given him tips on places to visit.

It's these liberated, open-minded, different people. It's nice to know that as I travel, I will meet others who like to travel. It's inevitable. Do what you like to do and you'll meet others just like you. Even people that want to take English classes with you, obviously they want to learn for some reason, to travel? Probably!

In hostels, you meet great people. On trips you meet great people. Whether it is your crazy tour guide, or people who decided to drop everything and travel the world, or a girl doing the PeaceCorps. There's so much to see! So many different people and cultures to meet! I may be biased, but I think everyone needs to travel, outside their comfort zones. It'll give you a more worldly perspective.

Morocco

It’s always a strange feeling coming back to your everyday routine after a vacation, especially if you have had an adventure.  I saw somewhere online that “It’s not because it’s Monday, it’s because of your job”, meaning that if you hate getting up on Mondays, it’s probably because you hate your job and are in the wrong profession. I’ve found myself waking up each morning thinking about this, getting up to teach. Why do I dread waking up early to go teach if that’s the profession I want to pursue? Then again, this is a teaching ASSISTANT job, and a lot of the time I don’t do much in the classroom and find myself looking at the clock. Maybe if I was the main teacher and was able to plan my own lessons I would be more excited to wake up in the morning and go teach. When I taught Spanish in the U.S. I don’t remember feeling this way about teaching, I was always ready and prepared.

Anyway, it’s the first day back from Semana Santa vacations, and so far I have just sat in the classroom while the kids watched a movie.

For Semana Santa we got a little over a week for vacation. My friend Rio (who is also from Berkeley but teaches in Madrid) and I went to Morocco for a week. He was a great traveling companion. It always tests your friendship when you travel one-on-one with someone. And this was a great experience! Also probably helps that we grew up in the same environment our whole lives.

Packing was hard, I brought mostly conservative clothes, but then realized short sleeved shirts aren’t that bad. They knew I was a tourist no matter what I wore.

We met in Algeciras (I had to take a 9 hour bus ride from Murica that left at 4:30am, and was an hour late) and then took a short bus ride down to Tarifa. Tarifa is the most southern point city in Spain and is known for it’s windy beaches, so many people travel there to windsurf. It was a small hippy town, which we liked for the chill environment and vegan/organic food choice. We split a tasty paella. The next morning we took the ferry to Tangier, about a 45 minute ride. We spent the entire ride in line waiting for our passport stamps. But a nice Moroccan lady helped us with our Arabic pronunciation.

I would say Tangier was the most intense arrival, because it was our first city. We walked off the boat, and felt like we couldn’t trust anyone. Travel books inform you but also make you kind of paranoid. We had no map, no GPS, and no sense of direction. Luckily with Rio’s bit of French, we asked multiple people for directions until we made it to our hostel. The last man who helped us seemed offended that we were hesitant to follow him. In the end he said “remember we’re all one human race, we have to help each other”. But generally people do offer to lead you places in exchange for a small payment. For example, later that day we were trying to find this café known for it’s tea and view of the sea. It would have been impossible to find it if it weren’t’ for these two little boys that showed us the way. Yea we gave them 10 dirham in the end (1 euro), but they were kids, and it was a fun experience speaking in multiple languages with them. Whenever we decided to follow people I was always afraid they’d lead us the wrong way and rob us, but we were always lead to the right place. Better to be safe than sorry though, especially when you’re a vulnerable tourist.

We didn’t spend our whole time in the old part of town (the medina), we ventured off to the new town, which was nice. It’s amazing to see the differences. In the old town the women are more traditionally dressed, prayer goes off 5 times a day, and it’s a bit dirtier. In the newer parts of the cities we visited, more women dressed similar to the way I dress, but skin always covered. The environment seemed more relaxed, at least for me. Drinking is not illegal in Morocco, but prohibited within the medina. We were able to get a beer made in Fez at one of the discotecas on the beach. We also got a bunch of free food at this one restaurant where we had dinner. It was there that we discovered “harira” soup, the soups in Morocco are amazing.

One thing in Morocco (depending on the city) is you never really know what buses and times will be available. Our trip got postponed twice because of buses being full. Luckily we got out of Tangier the same day we wanted, just a few hours later. We took a 3 hour bus to our next city Chefchaouen. The bus was one of the cheaper ones, so two boys sat on top of each other right next to me. People sat in the aisle way or on the steps of the bus as well. No air conditioning, but with the windows open it was fine.

Chefchaouen was our favorite city. All the buildings are painted different shades of blue. Someone told us it was to keep mosquitos away, not sure if it’s true, because I got bit. Chefchaouen is known for growing hashish, maybe that’s why everyone there was so relaxed. It is situated in the Rif mountains, so there were beautiful views all around. We hiked one of the smaller mountains with new friends we made at tour hostel, we watched the sunset from the top. While hiking we saw a huge heard of goats, followed by a few dogs and their herder. We exchanged waves. And man, can goats climb! During our stay, we were tricked in to buying rugs. Well, not really tricked because we wanted to buy rugs initially. We were approached by a three-toothed old man, who offered to show us his friend’s factory. We went, and ended up drinking tea with the rug man Abudla for about 2 hours while we looked at rugs and bargained. I got a blue rug made out of cactus, and Rio got a blue blanket, “student price” said Abdula. We were exhausted by the end of the transaction. Then, the three-toothed man brought us to his other friend’s restaurant. We decided to just eat there. It was cheap anyway. The people we met in Chefchaouen were great, by the end it seemed we had formed a tight group in such little time. It was weird, meeting so many people during our trip and saying so many goodbyes.

We ended up staying 2 nights in Chefchaouen because the bus was full until the next day. But if we would have left we wouldn’t have met the people and done the things we did with our extra time. It’s nice letting your trip plan itself.

After saying bye to our new friends at the bus station, me and Rio cried as we said bye to what felt like a new home. Well we didn’t really cry, but it was sad to say bye to such a beautiful city and experience. You always have to keep going though. The next bus was the fancier bus that had air conditioning; about a 4.5 hour ride to Fez. We had had issues deciding if we wanted to spend 2 nights in Fez and 1 in Marrakech, or vic versa. We had to re-arrange our plans because we spent an extra day in Chefchaouen. We decided on 2 nights in Fez, which we regretted in the end.

Rio had heard from multiple friends that Fez was amazing, but it’s all personal opinion. For us, Fez was super intense because of the enormous medina, and people everywhere looking at us like money. Fez has the oldest and biggest medina in Morocco, it was the dirtiest of the cities we visited. After arriving the first night, we took a walk around the area. There was nothing really, expect a few stores, and multiple people offering us tours, places to eat, etc. Even the next day when we found the main street, we weren’t impressed with the city. I liked the new part of the city that we drove through upon arrival. The medina had tight streets, packed of people, I was expecting more of a plaza with wider streets.

My favorite thing that we did was hike up to a small castle on the outskirts of the city for a view. It was quite and far away from the hustle and bustle of the big city.

The hostel where we stayed was ridiculous. You could stay there and never leave the comfort of the hostel, they were total self-sufficient. They had food, t.v., laundry, tours, cooking classes, etc. which I guess is nice if you’re traveling alone and afraid to venture off into the city. We met a lot of people there too, and met up with one of our friends who we had met in Chefchaouen. Another girl who had been there two years took the train with us to Marrakech.

It’s amazing how many people we met, makes me excited to travel to Italy alone. I love hearing about where they come from, what they’re doing, and where they’re going. It gives me ideas for my travels.

We took a 9 hour train ride to Marrakech, it left at 6:50am. We were able to take the taxi with a few friends we had met there, 2 of them were going the opposite way up north though. Me and Rio went with the girl who had been there for 2 years, she had also adopted a 5 day old cat from the streets. The train ride went by fast, but the last 2 hours were rough. There were 3 older women sitting next to us who were traditionally dressed, and traveling with two kids. At first I thought they were talking about me, maybe because I was sitting cross-legged and showing my feet (which is disrespectful there, similar to in Thailand). But then a while later while I was eating some almonds, they offered me some bread. It was amazingly nice. I guess they thought that nuts is no way to nourish hunger. The bread was filled with sesame seeds and other herbs, it was delicious. I shared some with Rio, and then they gave us a bit more. Our friend was able to speak Arabic with them, I wish I could have communicated. At least I knew “shokran” which means thank you.

Arriving to Marrakech was a nice experience. It was a bit more developed and clean. There were a lot of palm trees, and I always get a good feeling when I see palm trees. We walked a bit down the street from the station to find a decently priced taxi. We had a funny experience when we were deciding between taxis and we turned our heads to one guy stopped in traffic. Right when Rio said “what about that guy” we looked over and the guy gave us a head nod, a wink, and a smile. It was like we were hookers he was trying to pick up off the street. We had a good laugh, and so did the guy when he saw us burst into laughter. He picked up another lady on the way, which is normal. Shared taxis, and only 3 to a taxi, are the norms in Morocco.

Marrakech has a very beautiful old mosque. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed into most mosques. The city had a huge plaza, with lots of orange juice stands and cobras and monkeys. During the night it was packed with restaurants. We went to an artisanal area with shops where the artists sold their artwork directly. There were set prices, so no bargaining. It was a nice change from bargaining in the medina and souks. I got a painting. Of course, we also made our way to the souks and I bought some teacups to go with my tea pot. Marrakech is where my bargaining was at its best. We only stayed one night, and got up early to catch our flight at 9am. We had a 6 hour layover in Casablanca, and they wouldn’t let us leave the airport, so that was fun…finally, we arrived in Madrid, drank some cañas, and had some tapas. Probably will go back to Madrid this weekend to see some flamenco and just enjoy city life. Two of our friends from Brazil that we met in Chefchaouen might be there too. Cartagena just isn’t doing it for me anymore.

So some typical food in Morocco. There’s couscous, which comes vegetarian or with different types of meat. Tajine, which is kind of like a curry with meat, and good for dipping bread in. Pastilla, which is a pastry filled with chicken, nuts, and cinnamon, interesting mix of flavors. Harira, a soup with garbanzo beans, small noodles, and chicken broth. Mint tea, which is basically green tea with mint and a TON of sugar. I also got this eggplant past/dip that was delicious.

Some words I learned:

“shorkan”-thank you

“beslama”-bye

“salam”-hello

“la”-no

“shahal taman”-how much is it

“bezaf”-too expensive

Overall I really liked my experience there, but I didn’t get to see any camels…we didn’t have enough time to do a desert tour. But I did eat camel, which was tasty.  If I ever go back I’ll go back to Chefchaouen and Marrakech, and spend a few nights in the desert.

Cordoba

Well I finally went to Cordoba, and it was just as nice as I thought it would be. Everyone told me a day or a night would be sufficient, but I spent 3 full busy days there, with time to relax too.

I don't think one day in any city is sufficient, if you really want to get "to know" the city. For example, I thought a day trip to Toledo was enough. So I made a day trip to Toledo…then another, and then another. There's always something new to find. Even in small towns or "pueblos", well I guess there are exceptions.

I stayed in the best place I've ever stayed, I think, at least here in Spain. It was an ancient Andalusian house, made from stone with a central patio in the middle of all the rooms. Surprisingly, it was kind of like a hostel even though I found it on airbnb. There were a lot of people staying there, I wasn't sure how many rooms there actually were. The lady was nice, don't think her first language was Spanish, but it wasn't English, because she didn't begin speaking to me in English when I told her I was from California. She kind of reminded me of my grandma.

Cordoba is hot. The way cities are built in Southern Spain are with small, narrow, streets, allowing the air to pass through and preventing the sun from beaming down on the walls. Also, the central patios in every house allows an opening up and through the house so air can flow. The streets are made with cobblestone so that it allows air to pass as well. When walking barefoot (way back in the day), in order to prevent your feet from burning, the streets were made this way so there was space between the stones to keep it cool. The fact that the houses are made of stone provides natural air conditioning, no joke! I would walk out of the hot streets into the cool and shady house. It was amazing, the stones were kept cold because they were out of the sun and kept the place cold. That'd be a good idea for houses in Thailand…all we have in my grandma's house there are tons of fans. And the canal I guess.

This was the first trip I took alone, I hope my mom is okay with that. It was nice, I got to do everything I wanted at my own pace and when I wanted. The Cathedral/Mosque was smaller than I expected, but it was amazing to see the Christian, Catholic, and Islamic fusion inside and out. There was an Alcazar, which I almost liked better than the one in Sevilla, but the one in Sevilla is bigger I'll give it that. I enjoyed "salmorejo" which is similar to "gazpacho", which is basically cold tomato soup, popular in the south because of the hot weather. I use to not like gazpacho when I first studied in Madrid, but now it's grown on me. I admit that there will be some Spanish food that I'll miss when I'm back in the states, and I'll just have to make it.

Taking the bus was okay, 7 hours both ways. But I got to see a lot of landscapes. I love how there are just all these random ancient buildings all around. Not only castles at the top of hills, but little buildings that were probably old bathrooms or who knows what, that are left over. They just sit in the middle of the fields, the grass, or the farms. They would make for good pictures, if only I had a car!

I'm too scared to drive here…the small european streets are too intense.

I won't even be here in Cartagena a week, we're off to Morocco this Saturday, I'm ready for something a little different. Or very different. Semana Santa begins Friday, Viernes de Dolores. I'm really excited to finally see the processions. I've seen videos and they seem intense. The first one is Friday at 3:30am, apparently everyone goes out at that time to see the first procession! And I'll be there!  Lots of my students are participating in the processions in the area, probably won't see them though.

Spring has brought around flowers that smell like the flowers that grow around the Thai Temple in Berkeley. They're not exactly the same, but the smell is.

Life so far

Well, I haven't got much to report. Well I did go to Granada a second time and to Valencia for Las Fallas which is a festival where they burn a bunch of burnable sculptures. But that's not what I want to write about. I want to write about life so far, in general.

Thanks to Facebook we get to look back on our lives in documented form. For me, I generally look back at old photos. And man have I had a good life so far!!!

I've grown up with the two best little brothers.
I've got friends that have got my back no matter what. Friends that I can count on from across the world at whatever time day or night.
My parents are cool.
I've been spoiled with amazing cooking since the day I was born.
I've traveled.
I've seen things that are different from what I am surrounded by on a day to day basis.
I've grown up around cultural diversity.
I went to college.
I graduated.
I experienced "dorm life".
I was able to rent a cabin in the mountains and go snowboarding with all my friends. Twice.
I've learned another language.
I've seen the Eiffel Tower and the Colosseum.
I get to visit my grandma in Thailand.
My other grandma is the best human being alive.
I've gone scuba diving, and saw a giant tortuous.
I've gone zip lining in Costa Rica and Ecuador.
I've lived with families that are not my own.
I have a job.
I've swam in the Pacific Ocean, in the Meditteranean Sea and South China Sea, and dipped my feet in the Atlantic Ocean.
College was a great 5 years, but there will be many more great years to come.
I am currently living in the south of Spain.
I have health insurance (both here and in the U.S.)
I have grown up in Berkeley, California.
I have laughed so hard it hurt.
I've cried so hard it hurt.
My parents make me strong.
My friends make me strong.
My brothers are there for me to be completely ridiculously annoying around.
I've ridden an elephant.
I teach.
I have lived where the tallest trees grow.
I have lived where the craziest people seem to settle down.
I've gone inside the Oregon caves.
I've been camping.
I spent two amazing weeks in Hawaii with my best friend and her parents.
I've been in plays.
I've seen elephant seals in real life.
I've ran out of a canal because there was a giant snake.
I've crossed a bridge with lots of crocodiles below it.
I'm healthy as far as I know.
I celebrated New Years in Las Vegas, and in Madrid twice.
I have loved and been loved.
I've been inside a crater.
I've driven down California highways in a red convertible blasting music with my friends not caring about anything in the world.
I've been to the "City of Angels"….San Francisco is better.
I've eaten guinea pig.
I am able to travel with my family.
I have had the help and inspiration of teachers and academic advisors.
I have done lots of things that many others cannot.

Where do we draw the line between appreciating what we have and bragging about what we have? Is it wrong to be happy for all the things you have done? Should we constantly live in a depressing world where we compare ourselves to others who have less or to others who have more? Or should we just focus on what we truly want and think about. We don't have to feel guilty for the good things we have in life. We don't have to feel sad about the bad things we have in life. Do what you want to do and try to make things better in the world at the same time. At least don't' make them worst. But don't overanalyze, you will drive yourself crazy. If you want to spend big money on a fancy dinner go ahead. If you want to save up your money for a vacation in 10 years that's fine too. If you want to ditch a party and stay in, so what. If you want to spend your life in an office okay. If you want to spend it working on a boat that's great. No one can judge, we're all too different. We're too many in this world to know what's right or wrong. I guess it comes down to what they teach you in elementary school: treat others how you want to be treated. And Bob Marley: Don't worry be happy.

Homesick? Or just plain sick?

Well, nothing makes you miss your mommy more than being sick away from home. Let alone in a different country where they speak a different language and their hospital system is completely different. So you end up confused with a woman yelling at you in a different language at the front desk about why you don't know how to make an appointment, and you can barely keep up because you have a fever and pain in your stomach. I just wanted to punch her in the face, if I had had the energy, who knows. If I worked in a hospital, I would be a little more empathetic towards people that came in, obviously they feel horrible, and just need some help. Just because she hates her job or is having a bad day doesn't mean she needs to wipe her issues out on me. Finally, I found the nice lady that had helped me back in November, she was more understanding, and spoke a little slower. Which is all I needed.

The hospital I am assigned to here is not the best, people say it is the "ghetto" of Cartagena. It's not in the best condition, is very small, and always packed with people waiting for their appointments that are an hour behind schedule. Then you have the gigantic hospital that is not exactly in Cartagena, but a 10 minute bus or train ride away. But what is closer, is always more convenient for the people.

Sitting in the waiting room I was so angry with that woman downstairs, and exhausted and helpless (at least that's how I felt). I wanted to cry out of frustration. Then I realized how good I have it. How privileged I am. Here I am actually being seen for being sick, and I don't have to pay anything, in a different country. In the United States, I am lucky to be covered under my parents. In the United States especially, so many people are not covered, and go untreated or in debt for the rest of their lives. Now, I don't have it great, not even close, but I do have it a lot better than a lot of people. I also thought of my mom, my tough woman of a mom. I remembered all the stories she told me of her as a kid in Thailand, the dentist trip she had to make alone to get a tooth pulled, and walking back basically through the jungle afterwards to get home, bloody napkin in hand. I hope I can do that if the time ever calls for it. I know a lot of people who couldn't. Well, all of that made me feel better, and re-think, and calmly wait for the doctor. Luckily I love my doctor. Even though she prescribed me nothing and I'm pretty sure something is growing inside my stomach! Unless I'm paranoid…I don't know why I think I know more than a doctor does…I wish she would have just given me something.

But being sick does make me miss home, specifically my mom. Moms know all.

Being cooped up inside for 3 days gives you a lot of time to think, and thus write. When I finally came out of my shell, the world was bright, people were weird, I felt like I was in a bubble. But when I got to spend an hour with my favorite two boys that I teach English to, by the end I felt a lot better! Surprising.

Tomorrow I have a full day of high schoolers. Have you ever wondered, how do teachers do it? How do they NEVER get sick? They are there, all the time. Rarely do they take a sick day. Maybe with high school teachers it's different, because in elementary schools, the kids cough, sneeze, lick, touch, whatever and everything. Imagine though, if I was the main teacher, and I had to take off 3 or 4 days off of work?? What a disaster.

You'd think that homesickness would be gone within the first 3 months, but oh man it does come in waves at random times. 5 months or something later, yea I'm sick, so maybe that's why. Hopefully I'll be better by Monday, I'm going to Valencia to see the festival Las Fallas. My friend Elena told me even before I came that I need to go, and she lived in Valencia, so she knows!

Now I have to finish my powerpoint presentation on St. Patty's day. It's an Irish now Irish-Northamerican holiday, that I have nothing to relate to except that it's an excuse to have a few drinks and put on a big green hat. I wonder how it feels for people in this program who come from completely un-Northamerican cultures or backgrounds, with different religions and everything, and who are expected to give presentations on all theses typical holidays. Holidays completely irrelevant to them. My last presentation I'll do before I leave is this epic, kinda long, presentation all about Thailand! With videos, photos, everything. It'll be great.

Mind of a 15 year old

It always feels like I haven't written anything for longer than it actually has been. For the record though, my last post I had actually written a couple weeks before during a break at school, and then finally posted it the 18th of February. It was mostly about the option of staying here for the summer as an au pair. After finding out it would cost a lot of money to change the date of my return flight to California, I probably won't stay here as an au pair. I still have to find out if any of the families are willing to pay for my flight change (often times, families fly people over from the U.S. to live and speak English with their families for a summer, so why not a flight change?)

The past two weeks have been filled with good bye parties, dinners, outings, events in general. As well as welcome events for the new Erasmus. A few really good friends will be leaving back to their countries in the next few days *tear* it's sad but kicks in the reality that this won't be home forever. On the bright side, I have more excuses to travel and visit them. So far that includes Canada (Montreal), Sweden, and Italy, not bad. Everyone I meet says they want to go to California, so I think I'll be hosting a lot of people in the near future, better get my own place or at least room in a place. I've had little time to rest, and do my own thing. Which after a while, you start missing. Those lazy days where you don't step outside your house or apartment. Stay inside reading, watching t.v., cooking, sleeping, planning adventures, looking up stuff to do with your life, etc.  There are just so many events here with the new program ISAC (International Students Association of Cartagena) which is an amazing group/association that creates events for all the international students here. Which prior to, nothing existed like that. From movie sundays to jam sessions, to trips to other cities, ISAC is making it big. They just started it up this past fall.

I prefer being in the classroom alone with students, it allows me to be my real teacher self. When I'm with another teacher, I feed off of their energy, if they're serious, so am I, if they're silly, so am I. But most of the time I find myself laughing at their ridiculous jokes, even when I should be a symbol of authority. But then again, I'm just the teaching assistant, i'm allowed to be ridiculous. But it makes me think about the age I actually act. There I am, laughing with the students at stupid jokes or ridiculous situations. I can relate to them, still, and they are no older than 15 or 16 years old! When will I mature to be that serious teacher who really shows authority and focuses on the lesson plan? Or do I even want to be that teacher? Are the best teachers the ones that can relate to the age of their students? I need to find a good balance. The classroom is a science experiment, which makes it interesting everyday. Although, in the elementary school, a lot of the times I find myself bored and constantly looking at the clock. They work directly from the book though, every, day….not very stimulating if you ask me.

Well, whether my mind is where it should be at a 23 year old level, or if its at a 15 year old level, seems to be working so far. I think…

Just found out one of my best friends might come to Spain!!!!! I really hope she does, that would be an experience. I haven't traveled for two months, and i'm getting antsy. Currently planning weekend trips to Valencia for Las Fallas, Bilbao in the north, to Cordoba and Malaga, and eventually want to fit in Berlin and Sweden. For Semana Santa we will be going to Morocco, and my last big trip will be to Italy and Greece, which I want to start planning for now because I'm so excited for it.

I'm not going to lie, I am a bit homesick. I miss California. It's awesome. I miss the essence of Berkeley and the Bay Area in general. I keep daydreaming about all the familiar spots I will go to when I get back. The more and more I travel, the more and more I see how great the Bay Area is. The diversity (in  people, food, music, culture, religion, etc). It is such an accepting culture. Hard to not miss it. I don't miss the north really, so much as the people. It's been 6 years since i've lived in the Bay Area, and i'm ready to live there again as a 20-something year old and go out and experience what it has to offer. Hopefully I can find a grad school program in that area.

I think I've covered everything I've wanted to say. This weekend is Carnaval, no idea what I'll dress up as. I'm thinking a cat, and orange, or a pirate. Until next time!

Au Pair

So I´ve been in-between thoughts about staying in Spain and going back to California. I don´t know if I´ll do another year here, and the numbers for the program are already very high. If I really wanted to though, I´m sure I could request to stay in Cartagena and continue to work at the schools where I am currently working. I don´t know if I would have to go back to the U.S. to do another Visa application? Just thinking about it makes my head hurt. Another option was for me to stay here during the summer (since everyone has told me the summers here are the best, of course) and live and travel and basically spend all my money instead of making money. I could always find private lessons though. It´d be nice to stay in Cartagena, since i´ve already got a network going here. Another option just came up, Au Pairs. The program is for the summer, and all over Spain, but more positions in Madrid. This would be a good way to stay and make money but still be in Spain. It is a big commitment though. Living with a family gives me less freedom, although I´d have my own room, still. It would be a 40 hour a week job with kids, probably little kids, taking care of them, and I don´t know if that floats my boat. Nannyspeaking is already hard enough. Kids really take the life out of you. But maybe it would be easier if I´m living with them, and actually doing stuff. I would be required to teach them English in lesson form at least 2 hours a week. The program offers anywhere from 2 weeks to the entire summer, so maybe I could do a month, then another month to travel, I don´t know. They would pay for my ticket as well, but maybe I can just have them pay for a date change in the one I already have. So those are my options. Oh, also I could just stick with my return date and go back to work this summer and academic year. But is that what I want? Rent is SO cheap here, I´m talking 140 euros a month, that´s like $200. Way cheaper than anything I would find in California. I´ll apply to the Au Pair program, and see where I get placed, etc.

It´s amazing what you can shock kids with. Today we made Valentine´s Day cards.

Bored

Sometimes inspirational or good titles don´t come to me, and frankly I´m writing a blog post because I´m bored and have nothing to do during my 2 hour break here at the elementary school. It sucks that I am here from 9am-2pm but only work 3 hours. Since it is a town away from Cartagena, I can´t go back during my 2 hour break. So I surf the web, make lesson plans, plan trips, and day dream basically. All the kids here have exams this week, so that´s what we´ve been doing in class. It´s interesting to see the wide variety of levels in the English language here, a lot of the Moroccan students are still learning Spanish. I think there is some obvious discrimination against those kids, because of their origin. Both from the students, and I have seen some subtle actions from the teachers. I´ve talked with the other auxiliar about it and a couple of the teachers. Why do us brown people always get the short end of the stick? Really, where did darker skin become the "bad" and white or lighter skin become the "good" or "superior"?  In the majority of countries and cultures world wide, society always seems to follow this. Does it have to do with the general idea of lightness associated with heaven and darkness associated with hell? Daylight is nice but nighttime is scary?? I don´t have answers, i´m just writing thoughts. Even if two people are "pure" whatever, Spanish, Thai, Moroccan, etc. the child who comes out lighter skinned with lighter hair, is preferred or praised more often than the child who is not. It seems to be in only some parts of the United States and other countries where tanning or tanned bodies is desired. But even still, a tanned body is different than a naturally brown body. In the Spanish language, i´m a morena, which I know is just whatever, and is common, but it literally means brown girl. Or when they say el negro/la negra, it´s weird! It´s one of those cultural differences, or more linguistic differences that has taken me more time to get use to. Maybe it´s the fact that I am directly referred to as la morena? Because it doesn´t bother me when people say eres morena, but more when they use it as my name. I have a name, bruh. Should I take it as a compliment? I don´t know! Or if people would say la chica negra instead of just la negra. I should re-take linguistics.

That was a long paragraph. All in all, I understand the differences. But these are things that have crossed my mind more than a couple times.

Finding a flight from Madrid to Morocco has been more difficult than we thought, they´re pricey, probably because it´s only one way. Not sure what we´ll end up doing. Berlin is coming up, 2 weeks-ish, and it´s going to be COLD. As in, below freezing cold...pertty sure I´m going to die. I can´t find it in me to buy a new jacket just for that, plus how would I fit it in my suitcase on my way back to the states. Might go snowboarding en La Sierra near Granada, if it´s affordable.

The english language...why do we have two ¨f¨s in affordable if we only pronounce one? Or two ¨r¨´s in preferred if we only pronounce one?!

I´m looking on Pinterest for recipes, I looked up ¨Thai peanut sauce¨ then realized my mom is Thai....so I just emailed her. I need to learn more recipes. I don´t know how she does it, goes to work all day then comes to cook the best meals ever at home, incredible.

I guess bringing towels to the gym here in Spain, or in Europe in general is a norm, and a requirment. So when the guy came up to my sweaty self asking where my towel was, pretty embarassing. I didn´t know! Definitely went home shortly after that. It´s a nice gym though, with good classes.

I found a good website for printable coloring pages for a variety of subjects from the alphabet to holidays to music, better for younger kids. The website is twistynoodle.com 

Smiles

I'm sitting here at the elementary school where I work, and in the office I sit directly facing the open door where students constantly walk by. Whenever a student of mine sees me, they put on this huge smile and wave either saying "hello teacher" or "hola maestra". One of my first graders just passed by and did this while entering his classroom. Those smiles you can tell are so natural, and it's impossible for them to not smile, because they're so innocent and happy and un-corrupted by the world. And in response I can't stop smiling when their cute little chubby faces are grinning back at me. You can see the happiness in their eyes!!!! As cheesy as it is, that smile finally inspired me to write a post.

I still prefer teaching older students.

After traveling for 2 1/2 weeks I was exhausted. So now I'm very excited to just hang out in Cartagena, work, eat, and relax, and workout since I joined that new Vivagym that everyone is raving about. Talk about first world problems huh? Too much traveling, oh no! Poor me...but it IS exhausting.

Traveling with my family was amazing, a privileged experience, and of course, frustrating. I think we can all relate to family time as great and sometimes unbearable at times. I was so happy to be with them. Christmas day, just staying inside and watching movies with my brothers was exactly what I needed. Makes me think about when're we're ALL grown up and have our REAL own lives, how many times will we be able to hang out for an entire day together watching movies and eating chocolate...we spent Christmas in Paris and New Years in Madrid. Partying with Watson was at first extremely weird and uncomfortable, for the both of us, but after the first time we got used to it. Wyatt enjoyed the parks and outdoorsy stuff, my parents enjoyed the museums, historical sites, food and drink.

When I finally came back to Cartagena, it was sunny and warm, made me really appreciate where I live. I am not built for the cold.

One of my roommates will be leaving us soon, she's only here for a semester. That'll be sad, and to think about who will replace her?! We went out to tapas last night, always fun, and filling. Cartagena is one of those small cities, or towns, where you almost always run into someone you know. My official favorite tapas place is Maricastaña.  DELICIOUS! About food and eating...usually I bring a lunch to school, and eat it around noon. Because normally, I am hungry at this hour and don't have any other time to eat because I'm either running to the bus, on my way to a tutor class, or working. You can't imagine the looks I get. Eating at any other time besides 2-5pm is ridiculous. Always always always I get weird looks from other teachers and they ask me "You're eating?" What do I say to that question? "Yes, i'm eating"...and they always continue with "You're eating at this hour?" And on and on.  Some people don't ask and just look at me. I like to think they're just jealous and hungry. Sorry, but I'm going to eat when I'm hungry.

My next planned trip is to Berlin. SO EXCITED! I looked up a bunch of things to do there, and there is a ton of stuff, luckily we'll be going for 4 nights, and have 3 full days to be there and do stuff. Semana Santa I'll be going to Morocco, also super excited. Ready to see something different! I wonder if I 'll ever be able to "settle down" in a place for a long time, eventually I will have to. Being a teacher, at least I get 2 months to travel in between.

I have started looking for jobs back in California, for the summer and academic year. A lot harder than I expected. But it puts my mind out there in California. Now I'm starting to plan my summer, my life there. Which is weird, being that I'm still living here. I thought I was going to do a second year, but when the time actually came to it, I didn't. There is still the option, but I'm not going to. I don't think I would make as much money as I am right now, since I have two jobs plus extra tutoring hours. I want to get my credential in the process too, so i'm not screwed with health insurance in two years. Definitely drift into jobs that are abroad though, when I'm searching online for jobs. Somehow I always end up on those sites. I've found some great programs! But it'll have to wait a bit. All the jobs I've been looking at require more education than I have, as in a credential or 5 years or more teaching experience. Still young though.

I always have all these thoughts to write about but when the time actually comes I can't remember them all. Just made a super long presentation/class about Thailand, can't wait to show it to my classes!!!